Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Tuesday October 30th

On days when my schedule changes and I am in a new place like training for example I am totally off of my game.  This is even when I plan for such things.  Take today for example, I packed my lunch and I planned my meals for the day and I am still hungry, uncomforable and I feel so bloated and fat and disgusting it is unbelievable.

This is my meal plan for today::

Breakfast:
Banana

AM Snack:
Apple

Lunch:
chicken and rice burrito: 370 calories

PM Snack:
Apple

Dinner:
?

All I know is I text Zack last night and we got to talking for a bit about what has happened but not really in depth.  He wants to get together for lunch today but we didn't set a date.  It is Tuesday and if we do lunch on any day it will have to be Thursday or Friday.  I don't really care which one just not tomorrow.  I need to get my paycheck first.  I am feeling really broke right about now.  I told him that I feel like he doesn't like me at all and he said that he was sorry to hear that.  I guess we haven't gone on a really good lunch since august.  that is according to him.  he says that a good lunch is one with decent food and a good talk and it has been a while.

I didn't realize just how emotional I am.  I am a total mental case.  I am experiencing a loss of some kind due to starting a new job.  I am unable to identify the loss.  I don't know if it is Zack or if it is the entire workplace.  I feel really pathetic.  I know I was there for five years but I mean really.  Get over it Bailey.

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