Goals

I did it.  I have sucessfully reached my weekly goal this week of burning 1500 calories through fitness.  Yes!  This feels great.  I talked to my wellness coach so she will now keep me accountable with doing my walking 3 times a day five days a week as well as running my first 5k.  i am so excited and nervous about this one. i havent been losing weight but i have been building endurance so i will take it.  my lungs are feeling a lot stronger than before. 

Friday 12/14/12

Life is good.  I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to go.  I am very happy today.  My chandelier was put up yesterday and looks amazing.  I love it so much.  My place is really coming together.  I have decided to get on the project of kitchen cabinets and taking care of that over xmas break.  i am looking forward to it.  It was really cold this morning.  I had ice on my windshield it took me a minute to get it off so i could drive.  i didn't walk this morning because i was so cold.

I am also on my period so the cramps aren't as bad as they have been they are actually okay but the only thing is i am bleeding a lot and having to change my tampon every hour which is weird because it is usually every two hours.

Breakfast:
grits

am snacks:
peanuts
granola bar

lunch:
mongolian beef
fried rice

pm snacks:
peanuts

dinner:
tuna casserole

Feelings:
i spoke with my wellness coach this morning and she is proud of me and i am as well.  feeling great the only thing that is trying to crush my spirit is the scale.  i know it is having fun because of my period and retaining water but still. that stuff really pisses me off. i am hoping that as soon as it is over i will drop a couple of lbs. 

Wed 12/12/12

I went for a walk this morning and took a different route.  i was glad that i did that.  my gps didnt log it correctly so i am not sure how many calories i actually burned.  anyway, i am researching to see what i need to do in order to lose weight more efficiently and it looks like i need to build up to burning 500 calories a day, everday. in order to burn 3500 which is one lb.  this just sounds very exhausting to me but really it isn't.  i was doing this before.  i just have to make sure that i eat the right things i need in order to fuel my body efficiently. like protein, fiber and things high in nutrients low calorie and low fat.  i am going to experiment a little bit and see how much i can handle.

this week my goal is to burn 1500 calories and as of this morning i burned 1200.  that just leaves 300 more to burn this week but i plan on doing that by this evening.

last night in my meditation class all i did was think about babies.  i couldnt get my mind off of it.  we were doing a body scan and that is where my mind went. to babies.  i really want a child now.

okay now just went on my mid morning walk so i have 72 calories left to burn this week to reach my 1500 cal burn goal.  this is sweet. i am getting faster.  i was walking at an avg pace of 3.6 mph when earlier i was doing 3.3 avg mph.  i really need to get back to walking 4.0 mph.  i am on my way.  my goal is to be there by february 2013.  all of this walking is having a positive impact on me.  my mind is more clear and i am not dwelling on a bunch of bs like i was earlier.  i think now that i have been in my  new position for a little longer i have settled and i am more relaxed now.  espeically now that i know who the players are in this game.

I really want some chips right now.  i am craving that crunch.  all i have had is mushy consistancy type foods today.  i guess i will go in the afternoon and grab some funyuns or doritos.

Tuesday 12/11/12

I am totally off of my game today.  I didn't do my morning walk because it was so cold but i did go for a late morning walk and an afternoon walk so i am okay.  i am looking forward to my meditation class this evening.  it is going to be great.  i hope i dont sit next to the same lady again.  she has been sitting next to me everytime so far and she is annoying. 

anyway, i am trying to keep myself moving more often throughout the day and i am finding that i feel so much better taking two walking breaks throughout my day.  this is a great thing.  i am going to keep this up.  i really like it.  i did my jackie workout on saturday and felt so nautious that i only did part of it i couldnt do the sit ups without wanting to vomit which is so wierd.  however, i have been feelign the effects of the fitness section i did.  i want to do it again today so that my muscles are able to get stronger.  i blame that dvd for making me slow this week on my walks.  my legs have been so sore.

i love that i still have no appetite the only thing that is bothering me these days is gas and constipation.  i had a difficult time sleeping last night because of stomach pains.  i dislike those so much. i have been trying to stay hydrated but i am wondering what else i can do so i dont get constipated.

Monday 12/10/12

Okay so how did i gain a lb and a half in two days.  hmmm.... that is weird and really bummed me out. The thing is the scale could be up because i am about to start my period, from eating pizza and from lifting weights.  either way this morning isn't the mornign to weigh myself.  i have been consitpated all weekend. 

Anyway, it is monday.  a monday without my coworker so i am here alone to deal with the boss and other jerks of the office.  i hope it goes by quickly.

i have done two walks today.  my two mile morning walk and my one mile mid morning break walk.  i feel great.  i am going to fit in one more walk today and i hope i can do this four days a week this week and then five days next week.  i love how i feel.  i am having a good monday as it turns out.

i have home depot coming to my home tonight to give me an estimate of how much it would costs to redo my kitchen cabinets and countertops and backsplash.  i dont really want the cabinets redone i really just want the countertops and the backsplash.  but this will give me an idea and piece of mind.

i am thinking that i will paint my bathroom this xmas break.  it will only take me a day the room isn't that big.

Friday 12/7/12

Food:

Breakfast:
Grits
Oatmeal

Snacks:
Apple
peanuts

Lunch:

Dinner:



Fitness:

Jackie DVD

Feelings:

I feel really great this morning.  It is cold so I didn't walk this morning. i lost another lb so i am extatic.  I love this.  I have to say it has never been this easy for me.  I decided to do my first 5K in February.  it is the color run at dodger stadium.  i am looking forward to it.  i was first on the fence about it but now i am totally down to participate. This is my first run challenge.  the last time i did soemthing like this was the aids walk in san francisco all those years ago in 1999.  wow, i am dating myself.

i went to dinner with two excoworkers last night.  i was wondering if they were going to flake but they didn't.  we had a great time. chatting for a couple of hours and getting all loud. it was a nice way to blow off steam from the week and work.  we decided to workout together in the new year on thursdays after work walking the perimeter of the university.  i hope this actually happens because i could really use the exercise.

2013 Goals:
Run 5K February
Weekly perimeter walks on thursdays january
zumba once a month not sure when
yoga once a month not sure when

Thursday 12/06/12

Food

Breakfast:
candy cane
grits

Snacks:
apples

Lunch:
homemade chicken tortilla soup

Dinner:
quesadilla

Fitness:

I went for a short walk this morning.  I wasn't able to complete my 2 mile walk because of my stomach being upset and having to race to the bathroom.  i wanted to stay near a restroom after that.  i only got in 15 minutes .80 of a mile.  my goodness.  i have been nautious and cold ever since.  what is going on there? now the headaches have started.


Feelings:

i have happy hour scheduled this evening with two ladies i used to work with.  we will see if either one of them flakes on me.  even if they dont show up i am still going to go and grab some grub from the place because it is really good there. 

i honestly don't know how i am feeling today.  i always enjoy the drive into work because i feel so hopful like there are so many great things that are going to happen to me.  i keep dreaming of having children.  i really want children.  i am ready for them. i keep dreaming of a little girl and i really hope she is coming soon.

I haven't been thinking or worrying about Zack as much as i used to which i am noticing now as something new.

i am feeling comfortable right now.  i have been real tired these past couple of days and i think it is because of how it gets dark at 430 these days.  just makes me want to go to sleep.

I am feeling the need to read a lot of books for some reason right now?  it must be because there isn't anything good on tv or in the theater or netflix.  the good stuff must be in books.  well its a good thing that i have a ton of books.

Wednesday 12/05/12

Well, yesterday was my second session doing mental yoga and i am in love with it.  i love the whole meditation thing.  i need to make more of a routine of it so i can get it down. i really enjoy meditation and the class i am in but i have having a difficult time finding a class.

anyway, today went by really quickly and i think that is because i didnt get to the office until 10am.  i guess thats the only way to do it.  my boss has been a bit of a pain so not being around her has been okay.  i really hope that soon i am no longer bothered by other people talking about me.  i think zack is going to be leaving us.  he asked for a letter of recommendation from someone so i guess he is on his way out.  i doubt i will ever see him again and i guess that is just fine with me. who needs friends like that.  he came by the office yesterday and said hi.  i was real busy at the time so i said hi and continued on with my work.  my whole thing is if you wanted to talk then maybe u should have let me know you would be stopping by.  i mean i havent talked to him since he flaked on me last friday for lunch.  he can suck it.

12/7/12 Tuesday

I am so happy this morning.  I lost 2 lbs now that is amazing.  I think the water flushed everything out of my system.  Thank goodness. I am so happy.  That means I have lost 4 lbs since I went to the doctor less than a month ago.  this is great.  Now, i am planning my fitness for the next two months and giving myself new goals and challenges.

Breakfast:
grits

snacks
apple
peanuts
granola

lunch
tuna noodle casserole

dinner
chicken chilli

Monday 12/3/12

I feel great this morning.  I am rested and I had a great weekend.  I got new pants that fit amazingly and I really should get them in more colors.  I love them. I didn't workout Saturday morning like I told my wellness coach i was going to do so i feel really bad about that.  i will do that workout when i get home since i wasn't able to go for my walk this morning due to the rain.  I know some folks still walk in the rain but not this chick.  I dont like wet feet.  I am really liking not having any appetite.  I like that food sounds gross to me.  that way i dont over eat or eat much of anything.  i am glad about that.  the only thing is when i finally feel hungry i am famished and make poor decisions based on that.

nothing looks or sounds good but once i get eating its okay. even though things do not taste the same.

Breakfast:
Grits

Feelings:
I have no appetite.  It took me an hour to get those grits down.  I am just not feeling it today.  I am so nautious.

Snacks:
Granola
peanuts
apple

Feelings:
Again,  I am eating because I know that if I don't I will feel really bad.


Lunch:
steamed veggies
rice
grilled chicken

Feelings:
I felt better after I eat this.  A lot better.  I was just eating because it was infront of me and I was scheduled to eat.  Not because I really really wanted it.

Dinner:
chicken chilli

Thursday 11/29/2012

I am feeling great this morning and I am looking great. I feel like there is some good news coming.  I don't know why I feel this way but I am very hopeful for some awesome news.

11/27/2012 Tuesday

I have my first mental yoga session today and I am looking forward to it.  I have no idea what to expect but I am hoping that it helps me relax.  I have to run a few errands today and I don't want to so bad I just might put it off until tomorrow.

Breakfast:
chicken burrito 390 cal

AM Snack:
fuji apple
peanuts

lunch:
chicken chimichanga

pm snack:
peanuts
triscuits

Dinner:
?
i never really know what i am going to have for dinner until its 6pm.

Monday 11/26/2012

I am back to work.  I was dreading it all weekend but today isn't that bad.  It is only 9am so maybe I shouldn't speak so soon.  I am really beginning to wonder if all of my stress is in my head and self inflicted.  Oh well if it is.  I am just trying to realize things about myself.

I left a giant mess in my home.  I was cleaning and organizing my bedroom which I haven't done in a really long time and during that process I neglected to pick up my living room and kitchen.  I don't know why I do this but I cant seem to have everything clean at once. only one space at a time.

11/21/2012 Wednesday (day before thankgiving)

Good Morning,

I feel really nautious this morning.  I went for my walk but felt like I was going to puke the whole time so the walk took forever to do.  It was an easy drive into work this morning seeing as it is the day before thanksgiving.  I really shouldn't be at work myself but I am.  i love easy days at work.

This morning I forced myself to eat two eggs over easy with some tater tots.  I dont have much of an appetite today but i figured i should eat something. When I get home today i plan on picking up my place so i dont have to worry about it for the rest of the week.  i am tried of it looking so bad.  i dont know why i am so lazy when i get home i just am.

breakfast:
two eggs
tater tots

am snack
?

Lunch
?

pm snack
?

dinner
?

11/20/2012 Tuesday

Tuesday

went for my 2 mile walk this morning and i am sluggish these days.  it used to take me less than 30 minutes and now its almost 40 mins.  I think it is because i am trying to get my running in and i am not a strong runner so when i stop i slow down a lot.  anyway,  i walked 2 miles today and it took me 37 minutes and i burned 233 calories so i am very glad about that.


Breakfast:
english muffin
cheese
ham
egg

Snack
peanuts in shell
granola bar

Lunch:
soup

Dinner:
?


I feel really great this morning.  I am relaxed and stressed.  My sleep was a bit distrubed and i am not sure why.  I was thinking a lot.  I am worried that my feelings for someone are one sided and that I am imaginging things that arent there.  I will have to wait to see this person again before I can be more sure about this change.  i feel like things are different and that he is making an effort to change things because he is ready or maybe he is messing with me.  i am nto sure but i am excited and it worrys me that i am excited for nothing or only to be disappointed later.

11/19/2012 Monday

I feel well rested.
I went for a walk today and used my pedometer.  It went well.  I really liked the apps.  The funny thing is i used two apps so i could compare the two and according to one i walked 2 miles and the other i walked 1.56 miles.  i am curious which one is correct.

I have been feeling a bit nausous but it may be due to the movie i was watching earlier.  I also have been a tad bit dizzy.  i am not sure if that is because i am thirsty or if its a side effect as well.  i am going to document these symptoms i am having just in case i need to make changes to my dosage.
 
Breakfast:
1 apple
AM Snack:
chicken, pasta, cheese
Lunch:
chicken, pasta, cheese
PM snack:
whey protein shake
Lunch
?

11/16/2012 Friday

Okay, so I am very excited.  I have a new jam.  I have been listening to it every since last night when I first heard it.  I love it.  :-).  It is the little things that make it worthwhile.  Happiness is important to me.

Anyway,  I started my period 3 days early which is upsetting to me considering that I was just bleeding two weeks ago but whatever. I am making it a point to track these things.  That's how I know that I am officially an adult.  All of this grown up stuff.

I took my third pill yesterday around 9pm and I feel just fine.  I woke up a few times last night but I think that was because of the rain.  I am sleeping with socks on so there's something going on there.  I never sleep with socks on because i get too hot.

It was raining last night.  I feel great.  Very optimistic even though I have stomach pain.  I am doing alright.  I am looking to plan my next vacation to Palm springs and I dont want to do a thing while im there other than massage and sit by the pool with a beverage and read a book.  that is my kind of vacation. now that i have gone there, i know what to expect and i am comfortable planning another trip.  i hope next spring i am able to afford another trip.

Afternoon

OK.  I feel like I have had a slow burn.  I had lots of energy this morning and this afternoon totally done.  what is that all about?  Maybe i should just take this pill in the morning. i noticed when i went to the rest room that i am bleeding again.  is it time for my period already?  goodness. these seem to be coming more frequently.

11/15/12 Thursday

I went for a run today and I was able to go farther than yesterday so that felt good.  The only thing is that I keep getting this saliva choking thing going on so I have to spit it out.  I am not sure what that is all about.  I had this yesterday but this morning I drank a lot of water so I thought that would fix it and it didn't.  I am wondering how I can fix that.   Anyway, I didn't go as far as I did yesterday.  I didn't see the point because I really pushed myself yesterday and I dont think it would be worth it to be exhausted today for no reason.

Yesterday was day two of my new meds.  Instead of taking them in the morning I took them when I got home and I don't see a difference.  My sleep last night wasn't as good as the night before.  I am feeling very optimistic and I like that.  I am taking note of my feelings just to track my progress.

I didn't have much of an appetite yesterday so we will see what is up today.  I didn't use the restroom enough yesterday either but this morning made up for it.  I don't remember if that is a side effect of this medication. 

I feel like I am headed in the direction I want to be in.  I am looking to work on my place and do some home improvements.  I want my bathroom to be like the spa i went to on my birthday.  i need to change the lighting and to paint it.  white walls are not theraputic for me at all. might want to get new shower doors put on as well.

i also want to redo my kitchen.  new countertops and new sink also remove the cabinet doors and brackets remove the paint and put them back on.

Wed 11/14

I feel great today and all it took was a few days away.  A massage, a pedicure and a couple of visits to the doctor.  Man, i haven't felt this good ever!  I know I made the right decision. 

zack and i have been in contact.  people have been showing love.  things are great so far.

Thursday 11/08/2012

I finally was able to take my measurements this morning.  I wasn't feeling realy bloated so I figured it was the perfect time.  I haven't purchased a new scale just yet and I am alright with that for the moment only because it really upset me and I don't want it to be the end all be all of my happiness with my fitness successess and losses.

waist: 38; Hips: 42, chest: 42, thights: 25, Right Arm: 14, Left arm: 13.5

I have been in training all this week so i have been feeling fine.  I went to lunch with Zack yesterday and he wants to have weekly lunch sessions.  I guess he missed me that bad.  good, ya jerk.

I had lunch with another friend the day before yesterday and she was happy to spend the time.  which means i am not the mean and evil person i thought i was. i dont know why i think so badly of myself.



Monday November 5th, 2012

My birthday is in a week and I don't know whether I should be excited or depressed.  I mean I am starting to get up there.  Anyway, I just spent last weekend in Palm Desert and I can't wait to go back.  I had such a great time with my crew.  They were awesome. Next time, new hotel and total spa weekend.

This morning I walked to training and did a mini walk around the area so I have only walked 1.5 miles today.  I am disappointed but I had to hit up the grocery store for some food because I didn't bring a lunch.

I am feeling better today and I think it is because I got out of town.  I need to do this more often and I say that everytime I go out of town. I am just really bad at planning travel type events. 

Breakfast:
granola bar

AM snack:
burrito

Lunch:
1/2 chicken club sandwich

PM snack:
1/2 chicken club sandwich

Dinner:
apples w/ peanut butter and almonds

Wellness Coach

Had my first session with my wellness coach this morning and it went well.  We discussed my goals and action plan for Fitness.  I shared my current activity schedule during the week and where i want to be and she explaned that I am on the correct path and that I shouldn't add anything extra on my to do list.


My Action Plan
This week:
Walking 2 miles 3-4 days a week in the morning

Track how long the walks take.  Go from 35-40 minutes to 30 minutes.
Purchase a scale.

This weeks goal: Walk 2 miles in 30 minutes or less.
Short Term goal: Run 1 mile without stopping
Long Term goal: Run 5k race in 2013/Zombie run

Notes:
Increase the intensity now that you have been doing this work out schedule for a while.  Keep in mind that fitness/weight loss is a mental process.  You may benefit from positive motivation.  Feed the mind with positive models.  Such as..

~articles
~friends w/ healthy life styles
~family
~fitness buddies

make some friends and spend time with people who have a positive lifestyle with fitness.

Think to yourself how do you want to look instead of "I dont like how I look"

you positive mantra this week is.

"I want to do this for me"

fitness DVDs: if you feel up to it do one here and there but don't make it a mandatory activity.  Once you become more used to your schedule add it on a consistant basis.

Friday November 1, 2012

I love my new iphone.  I feel like I am finally up to date with my phone.  It is my first smartphone.  Yes, I know that is a tad bit sad but it is what it is.

Before I start writing my food consumption for today I have to note that I havent had much of an appetite this whole week and I am not sure what that is all about but there it is.  i am experiencing some new symptoms this week.  Yesterday, I was real bloated all morning and then it resulted in abominal pain and followed with bleeding.  Now I am not sure what that is all about.  I felt contractions/vibrations in my uterus and this is all new to me.  I have no idea what that is about. In my panic state, I emailed my doctor yesterday asking if I should be concerned.  I have an appt next week to see what is going on .  when the nurse called me back she made it sound extremely urgent.  now, what is going on?

Breakfast
Spaghetti w/ fritos 1 cup

AM Snack
Spaghetti w/ fritos 1 cup

Lunch
spaghetti w/ fritos 1/2 cup

PM Snack
chicken breast w/ a cup of noodles.

Dinner
?

Happy Halloween

Today is a better day and I think it is because I am finally back to talking to my friend Zack.  My new iphone 5 came yesterday so I have been trying to figure that thing out.  I really like it especially because my previous phone was a blackberrry without a data plan.  I am glad I have been upgraded and now have a smart phone.

Breakfast:
Coffee 6am
breakfast burrito
hashbrown nuggets

AM Snack:
Banana

Lunch:
Apple

PM Snack:


Dinner:



Who knew that one person could have such an effect on my life.  I think my feelings of sorrow happened that last time I tried to get rid of him.  I don't know why and I wish I didn't have that effect because now it feels like I am some what co-dependant when I am not but I dont like the feeling of not having him in my life and not having him do or say things that are nice to me.  He is going to have to go.  I can't have someone around just for the sake of how it makes me feel. It is foolish and pathetic.   

He will never tell me how he feels about me and that is so strange. 

Friday 10/26/12

Friday is Ho-Hum day.

I went for my walk this morning but with a severe stomach ache. Afraid that I will mess myself, I kept it short, 25 minutes and I didn't go too far or too fast. I was able to walk 1.75 miles burning 142 calories.  I felt great after my walk and towards the end.  I am not sure why my stomach is hurting.  I am thinking it may have something to do with my coffee or anxiety quite possibly both.

This is my meal plan for the day

Breakfast:
8:45AM:  greenbeans, chicken, rice stirfry made at home

AM Snack:
10AM: apple

Lunch:
1PM: apple & banana w/ stir fry.

PM Snack:
4PM:  granola bar

Dinner:
7PM: not sure yet.

Seeing this will hopefully keep me on track.  I am not hungry but I have been eating to self soothe my stress while at work.  I am not sure where all of this anxiety and stress came from exactly.  I have been in my current position since August 1st and I was experiencing stress at my previous position which is why i was looking for a new job.  I am trying to get acclimated to my new surroundings but there are things at this new place that bother me. I hope I will get over it soon. 

I feel like I am experiencing a great loss and I know it is due to the fact that I am no longer in a relationship with a certain person.  I thought I would be friends with said person for a really long time.  Moving jobs has opened my eyes to how it really is and it hurts.  I decided that I don't want this person in my life due to the strain he is putting on me and all of the frustration doesn't seem worth it.

I constantly feel like I am better than what I do for a living.  I feel like I am destined for better and more but why aren't I doing more?  I feel like I don't have anyone in my life that believes in me or who wants to see me succed.  I am not sure why I feel this way but I do not have a support system in my life.

Tuesday October 30th

On days when my schedule changes and I am in a new place like training for example I am totally off of my game.  This is even when I plan for such things.  Take today for example, I packed my lunch and I planned my meals for the day and I am still hungry, uncomforable and I feel so bloated and fat and disgusting it is unbelievable.

This is my meal plan for today::

Breakfast:
Banana

AM Snack:
Apple

Lunch:
chicken and rice burrito: 370 calories

PM Snack:
Apple

Dinner:
?

All I know is I text Zack last night and we got to talking for a bit about what has happened but not really in depth.  He wants to get together for lunch today but we didn't set a date.  It is Tuesday and if we do lunch on any day it will have to be Thursday or Friday.  I don't really care which one just not tomorrow.  I need to get my paycheck first.  I am feeling really broke right about now.  I told him that I feel like he doesn't like me at all and he said that he was sorry to hear that.  I guess we haven't gone on a really good lunch since august.  that is according to him.  he says that a good lunch is one with decent food and a good talk and it has been a while.

I didn't realize just how emotional I am.  I am a total mental case.  I am experiencing a loss of some kind due to starting a new job.  I am unable to identify the loss.  I don't know if it is Zack or if it is the entire workplace.  I feel really pathetic.  I know I was there for five years but I mean really.  Get over it Bailey.

Starting a Weight Loss Blog

Okay, here I am.

I have decided to start this blog in hopes to motivate myself to lose some unwanted pounds.  The reason why I think that a blog will be somewhat helpful to me is that a few months ago i only had 20 pounds to go and due to some stress in my life, I put on an addtional 20 pounds instead of dropping the 20.  Now, I have 40 pounds that I would like gone.  I want to get it off and I hope that if I keep a daily record of my progress including food, fitness and feelings that I will be able to stay on track and focused. 

Action Plan

Nutrition Plan
The plan is to do the following:
1. Write down everything I eat.  That includes serving size and calories.  I have been following a low calorie high protein diet. 
2.  Eat vegetables at every meal
3.  Start the day off with a fruit.   
4.  Chew 30 times before swallowing and set the fork down between bites.
5.  Drink 10 glasses of water a day.
*I will commit to this plan for the next 14 days.  That is with an end date of November 7th, 2012. 

Fitness Goals
This has been real challenging and that is mostly because of how tired I have been.  I pushed myself so hard that I was exhausted and when I get that tired I get real irritable and start crying.
1. Burn 1500 calories a week with a combination of cardio exercise, strength training and flexibility.
2. Run a mile without stopping. So far I can only do 1/2 a mile before my athsma kicks in and that is an improvement because before it was 1/4 of a mile I could run before my athsma kicked in.
3. Run a 5K in 2013.

Motivation & Support
This is the most challenging area for me.  I have my brother to workout with on Saturdays at the gym.  He is also in a place were he wants to be fit.  I have him for the weekend but as far as the day to day stuff I do not have much support which is why I am starting this blog.