Today is a better day and I think it is because I am finally back to talking to my friend Zack. My new iphone 5 came yesterday so I have been trying to figure that thing out. I really like it especially because my previous phone was a blackberrry without a data plan. I am glad I have been upgraded and now have a smart phone.
Breakfast:
Coffee 6am
breakfast burrito
hashbrown nuggets
AM Snack:
Banana
Lunch:
Apple
PM Snack:
Dinner:
Who knew that one person could have such an effect on my life. I think my feelings of sorrow happened that last time I tried to get rid of him. I don't know why and I wish I didn't have that effect because now it feels like I am some what co-dependant when I am not but I dont like the feeling of not having him in my life and not having him do or say things that are nice to me. He is going to have to go. I can't have someone around just for the sake of how it makes me feel. It is foolish and pathetic.
He will never tell me how he feels about me and that is so strange.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Friday 10/26/12
Friday is Ho-Hum day.
I went for my walk this morning but with a severe stomach ache. Afraid that I will mess myself, I kept it short, 25 minutes and I didn't go too far or too fast. I was able to walk 1.75 miles burning 142 calories. I felt great after my walk and towards the end. I am not sure why my stomach is hurting. I am thinking it may have something to do with my coffee or anxiety quite possibly both.
This is my meal plan for the day
Breakfast:
8:45AM: greenbeans, chicken, rice stirfry made at home
AM Snack:
10AM: apple
Lunch:
1PM: apple & banana w/ stir fry.
PM Snack:
4PM: granola bar
Dinner:
7PM: not sure yet.
Seeing this will hopefully keep me on track. I am not hungry but I have been eating to self soothe my stress while at work. I am not sure where all of this anxiety and stress came from exactly. I have been in my current position since August 1st and I was experiencing stress at my previous position which is why i was looking for a new job. I am trying to get acclimated to my new surroundings but there are things at this new place that bother me. I hope I will get over it soon.
I feel like I am experiencing a great loss and I know it is due to the fact that I am no longer in a relationship with a certain person. I thought I would be friends with said person for a really long time. Moving jobs has opened my eyes to how it really is and it hurts. I decided that I don't want this person in my life due to the strain he is putting on me and all of the frustration doesn't seem worth it.
I constantly feel like I am better than what I do for a living. I feel like I am destined for better and more but why aren't I doing more? I feel like I don't have anyone in my life that believes in me or who wants to see me succed. I am not sure why I feel this way but I do not have a support system in my life.
I went for my walk this morning but with a severe stomach ache. Afraid that I will mess myself, I kept it short, 25 minutes and I didn't go too far or too fast. I was able to walk 1.75 miles burning 142 calories. I felt great after my walk and towards the end. I am not sure why my stomach is hurting. I am thinking it may have something to do with my coffee or anxiety quite possibly both.
This is my meal plan for the day
Breakfast:
8:45AM: greenbeans, chicken, rice stirfry made at home
AM Snack:
10AM: apple
Lunch:
1PM: apple & banana w/ stir fry.
PM Snack:
4PM: granola bar
Dinner:
7PM: not sure yet.
Seeing this will hopefully keep me on track. I am not hungry but I have been eating to self soothe my stress while at work. I am not sure where all of this anxiety and stress came from exactly. I have been in my current position since August 1st and I was experiencing stress at my previous position which is why i was looking for a new job. I am trying to get acclimated to my new surroundings but there are things at this new place that bother me. I hope I will get over it soon.
I feel like I am experiencing a great loss and I know it is due to the fact that I am no longer in a relationship with a certain person. I thought I would be friends with said person for a really long time. Moving jobs has opened my eyes to how it really is and it hurts. I decided that I don't want this person in my life due to the strain he is putting on me and all of the frustration doesn't seem worth it.
I constantly feel like I am better than what I do for a living. I feel like I am destined for better and more but why aren't I doing more? I feel like I don't have anyone in my life that believes in me or who wants to see me succed. I am not sure why I feel this way but I do not have a support system in my life.
Tuesday October 30th
On days when my schedule changes and I am in a new place like training for example I am totally off of my game. This is even when I plan for such things. Take today for example, I packed my lunch and I planned my meals for the day and I am still hungry, uncomforable and I feel so bloated and fat and disgusting it is unbelievable.
This is my meal plan for today::
Breakfast:
Banana
AM Snack:
Apple
Lunch:
chicken and rice burrito: 370 calories
PM Snack:
Apple
Dinner:
?
All I know is I text Zack last night and we got to talking for a bit about what has happened but not really in depth. He wants to get together for lunch today but we didn't set a date. It is Tuesday and if we do lunch on any day it will have to be Thursday or Friday. I don't really care which one just not tomorrow. I need to get my paycheck first. I am feeling really broke right about now. I told him that I feel like he doesn't like me at all and he said that he was sorry to hear that. I guess we haven't gone on a really good lunch since august. that is according to him. he says that a good lunch is one with decent food and a good talk and it has been a while.
I didn't realize just how emotional I am. I am a total mental case. I am experiencing a loss of some kind due to starting a new job. I am unable to identify the loss. I don't know if it is Zack or if it is the entire workplace. I feel really pathetic. I know I was there for five years but I mean really. Get over it Bailey.
This is my meal plan for today::
Breakfast:
Banana
AM Snack:
Apple
Lunch:
chicken and rice burrito: 370 calories
PM Snack:
Apple
Dinner:
?
All I know is I text Zack last night and we got to talking for a bit about what has happened but not really in depth. He wants to get together for lunch today but we didn't set a date. It is Tuesday and if we do lunch on any day it will have to be Thursday or Friday. I don't really care which one just not tomorrow. I need to get my paycheck first. I am feeling really broke right about now. I told him that I feel like he doesn't like me at all and he said that he was sorry to hear that. I guess we haven't gone on a really good lunch since august. that is according to him. he says that a good lunch is one with decent food and a good talk and it has been a while.
I didn't realize just how emotional I am. I am a total mental case. I am experiencing a loss of some kind due to starting a new job. I am unable to identify the loss. I don't know if it is Zack or if it is the entire workplace. I feel really pathetic. I know I was there for five years but I mean really. Get over it Bailey.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Starting a Weight Loss Blog
Okay, here I am.
I have decided to start this blog in hopes to motivate myself to lose some unwanted pounds. The reason why I think that a blog will be somewhat helpful to me is that a few months ago i only had 20 pounds to go and due to some stress in my life, I put on an addtional 20 pounds instead of dropping the 20. Now, I have 40 pounds that I would like gone. I want to get it off and I hope that if I keep a daily record of my progress including food, fitness and feelings that I will be able to stay on track and focused.
Action Plan
Nutrition Plan
The plan is to do the following:
1. Write down everything I eat. That includes serving size and calories. I have been following a low calorie high protein diet.
2. Eat vegetables at every meal
3. Start the day off with a fruit.
4. Chew 30 times before swallowing and set the fork down between bites.
5. Drink 10 glasses of water a day.
*I will commit to this plan for the next 14 days. That is with an end date of November 7th, 2012.
Fitness Goals
This has been real challenging and that is mostly because of how tired I have been. I pushed myself so hard that I was exhausted and when I get that tired I get real irritable and start crying.
1. Burn 1500 calories a week with a combination of cardio exercise, strength training and flexibility.
2. Run a mile without stopping. So far I can only do 1/2 a mile before my athsma kicks in and that is an improvement because before it was 1/4 of a mile I could run before my athsma kicked in.
3. Run a 5K in 2013.
Motivation & Support
This is the most challenging area for me. I have my brother to workout with on Saturdays at the gym. He is also in a place were he wants to be fit. I have him for the weekend but as far as the day to day stuff I do not have much support which is why I am starting this blog.
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